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Wedding Day Blues
After 3 years of being engaged, my fiancee and I have finally set a wedding date. Oct 31. I am so excited, and I want to have a costume ball. I have a beautiful scarlet wedding dress and cant wait to have my 2 little girls walk down the aisle with me. We are having it in a mansion donated to the parks and recreation dept. by a wealthy family, complete with herb gardens, a beautiful gazebo, etc. It is my dream location. Here is where the other issues begin. . .
I do not want a traditional christian ceremony, clearly. The problem is my whole family is christian, and my uncle is a pastor. I asked him if we could talk about creating a special ceremony that was not so much cristian in nature. WELL, he told my mother that I was a satanist. Yea, a satanist. Coming from a "man of god". Whatever. Then my father told my fiancee that he always dreamed of walking me down the aisle, but "not dressed as Fred Flinstone at some freakshow."
I guess this is my question. Who in the hell is going to marry me, and how do I not let these people ruin my special day? Everyone suspects my beliefs. I dont hide the magical things in my home. However, it is just the purple elephant that no one talks about. How can I incorporate my personal beliefs into a wedding, on Halloween, in a red dress, and not make others uncomfortable? YIKES.
I do not want a traditional christian ceremony, clearly. The problem is my whole family is christian, and my uncle is a pastor. I asked him if we could talk about creating a special ceremony that was not so much cristian in nature. WELL, he told my mother that I was a satanist. Yea, a satanist. Coming from a "man of god". Whatever. Then my father told my fiancee that he always dreamed of walking me down the aisle, but "not dressed as Fred Flinstone at some freakshow."
I guess this is my question. Who in the hell is going to marry me, and how do I not let these people ruin my special day? Everyone suspects my beliefs. I dont hide the magical things in my home. However, it is just the purple elephant that no one talks about. How can I incorporate my personal beliefs into a wedding, on Halloween, in a red dress, and not make others uncomfortable? YIKES.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dark Raven on -
Well this is one of those situations where you can't have it both ways. If your family is very religious they are going to feel strongly about you being anything but christian. A a non-traditional wedding on halloween is just about as un-christian as you can get =)
You really have 2 choices - one is fit in with them and stay in the closet or the other is come out and accept the fact that they may not accept your beliefs. Just as they cannot make you be one way or another, you cannot do the same for them. Many times they can deal with things if they are subtle and they don't have to think about it. A pentacle here, a moon candle there, they may overlook these things. Getting married in a red dress, on Halloween is just about as not-subtle as you can get =) This is going to be hard for them to accept or ignore.
If you choose to be out of the closet completely - you have to accept that they may not like it or accept it. Just as it is your choice to choose your own beliefs, it is their choice to choose theirs. I have seen a lot of family relationships become damaged in these cases and I don't really have answer. Religious beliefs tend to run deep and its hard for folks to set them aside, sometimes even for family =(
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